i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
