I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you will always have a special place in my vag
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
