Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
