Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
