That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
