I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
