i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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