the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im six kinds of drunk right now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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