I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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