Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
