OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
