Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
