her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just had sex on a roof
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
