I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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