she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
