Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
barbara walters just said penis...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i think im in europe. pls send help
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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