ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize