Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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