You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
