I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize