four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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