dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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