69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize