So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
