forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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