I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
