Sponge bath it is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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