You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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