I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
