Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
