I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
