So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
