How's work?
Spinning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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