Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
