Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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