you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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