somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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