what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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