He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
