dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize