I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
