You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
