actually, I'm a sock model
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
