Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
