Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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