he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
