Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
