And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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