I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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