Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
