i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
