If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
