I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize