If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
