I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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