maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
