Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
